Somebody

Woody Allen interviews Billy Graham.
Kind of brilliant and extremely funny. It's in two parts and definitely worth watching.

Assassins is going as well as can be expected. It's not brilliant; but what is when your budget is small and your time is short?
I leave for Forestburgh very soon and I don't even feel almost ready. I'd type more but I'm a bit drunk. It happens.

This Pretty much sums up what the HSM fiasco has done to me mentally.

I'm sending a demand letter today and proceeding to small claims court. It's time something was done.

I finally got out and did something totally new and social all by myself. The Tatame Lounge was hosting Dr. Sketchy from 7:00-10:00 pm and I not only screwed up my courage to go and draw in front of people; but I entered one of their contests and won! Dr. Sketchy is a monthly figure drawing "class" held in local bars and tea houses featuring burlesque performers and drag queens as models. Monday was the first ever Orlando session and our chosen model was a cos-player. So basically, I spent a few hour drinking tea with cool/weird people and drawing a hot chick dressed as a pirate and later, a geisha. Between the class and the tea I spent $10 and walked away with an inflatable batman mallet and a newfound sense of confidence. I'm definitely going back next month!




I have yet to receive budget money from Mad Cow for Assassins, so Alex and I went to the Animal Kingdom today. It was kind of amazing. I can not say enough good things about "The Festival of the Lion King" and "Finding Nemo: The Musical." They really brought out my sense of wonder and I managed to learn a few things to boot. In case you were wondering, The Everest roller coaster goes backwards. I was not informed of this...Alex was quickly thereafter informed of my feeling about said omission. I know I've said some stuff about the uniforms at Universal, but after seeing this guy's uniform I feel better. His name is Alfie. How perfect is that?

I'm feeling better now, but I'm still pretty weak. To clarify: Alex is not an asshole.  He actually left work to take me to the doctor's because I was too sick to drive myself (yay, strep throat!) and then drove me around in search of antibiotics and thai food. He's actually making me lunch as we speak. I'm just annoyed because the nature of my illness demands that we keep our distance from each other and because I"m a huge baby when I get sick. I MISSES MY KISSES!

I have spent the last two days at home gleefully participating in lj wank. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Saw Juno last night. It was good, but not the amazing that I have heard it was. IDK, the snark was cute and Indy, but very 1998. The age of the writer showed through much more than did the age of the actors and as a result the film really lost some of its emotional honesty. Also, can Jennifer Garner BE any more annoying?

I'm sick and my boyfriend refuses to treat me like a Princess!
I'm going to pout and act like a four year old until I become properly ashamed of myself and then fall asleep.
I'm so predictable.

My second design meeting for Assassins is tonight in which I will be presenting my first sketches. Some of them, I feel pretty good about. Others...let's just say that there are a few embarasing drawings that will be making their way onto the table. It's partly a lack of time due to Rwanda and partly a lack of inspiration since my original concept pretty much went straight out the window for meeting one. It's refreshing to be working with a director who has a vision; but I'm having a hard time maneuvering under this very specific vision and it's affecting my confidence. Not to mention that not much has changed in Men's Wear in 200 years. You may think there is, but when it's a matter of suits and hats the main difference is in the cut of the lapels and how a tie was tied. It's been...tedious. That's not to say I haven't had some fun (Sarah Jane Moore is pretty much a charicature of my mom)..I think ultimatley I can tie my current feelings down to my typical design presentation nervouseness paired with the recognition that my drawing really does need some work and the fact that I have no improved is entirely my fault. The only thing left to do is get better...and get through this meeting. I'm scanning the sketches as we speak and will post a link later...for now it's back to work.

In other news: I've started going to the gym again. Apparently the machines are not broker, you just have to sign a key out from the office to use them...annoying, but at least I'm active again. Feels good.

I just realized that I accidentally participated in the LJ strike. Dammit

My mom is in town, more on that later.

My real purpose in posting is to show you this. It is as beautiful as it is creepy and horrifying. Happy Easter. SFW.

My first review. Little designer baby is growing up.

I spent three hours in the park yesterday drawing murderers.  That's right folks, Rwanda is open and I'm moving on to Assassins. I must say th t I was overall pretty pleased with how Rwanda turned out. It's not exactly a "shock and awe" kind of show, but I take pride in my ability to make actors look like they walked in wearing their own clothes. My costumes tell a story. It's not a loud story, or even a particularly exciting one; but it is an important story and I was glad to take  part in the telling. My experiences with Mad Cow vs. Grammercy have been night and day. I am finally working with an organization who believes in art and social change as opposed to being crushed under the weight of the Grammercy's "bigger is better, but we don't want to spend money on it" philosophy. Assassins will be fun. I'm a bit nervous about doing such a large show on a small budget; but I am determined to show Orlando what I can do.

I got the job at Universal. I am now a skipper on Captain Jack's Boat Tours. I start training on Tuesday and am super-psyched about the fact that I get to shoot a grenade launcher at an animatronic shark. Oh hell yes.

After 5 years away from the stage I have an audition this afternoon...for JAWS at Universal. I have no idea what this will entail other than a "cold reading." That's a great big lol right there.

My summer at Forestburgh is once again approaching and I find myself reminiscing about fire-side shenanigans. A few of you have heard my stories about "The Miracle in the Forest;" but a rather important other few of you have not. Therefore I present to you Part One of: TALES FROM THE MIRACLE "Actors and puppies and bears, Oh My!"



For those who have heard the stories, but would like to see them written down, I am taking requests.

Looks like Improv Everywhere beat me to it. Can I get a napkin?

First fittings for "...Rwanda" went well this evening. The director didn't like my "cool 90s suit," but you can't have everything, right?

 I have yet another Universal interview tomorrow...here's hoping that pans out. If not, I picked up an app. for the porn store down the street. There's something to be said for a short commute and easy access to underwear.

Today was all about chairs. From the blue wavy ones at the Sea World HR Department (I'm hired...in September) to a considerably more rainbow-colored one currently drying in my living room, today was a day for creative sitting.

Alex only worked until noon today, so I arrived home from my Sea World quasi-disappointment just in time to catch him in the act of assembling a present. He bought me chairs! Beautiful black Ikea goodies with soft washable cushions to replace the rickety-ass broken K-mart chairs that we have been precariously balancing ourselves on since the 3rd ave. apartment! I'm so excited and can't wait to have a dinner party to show them off! Needless to say we will be taking extra-good care of these and will stop (or at least limit) having sex in them so that they last longer.

My other chair story of the day involves my neighbors. Those of you who have visited me know that I have sketchy Mexican neighbors who have commandeered my patio for their own nefarious purposes. Namely, talking on the phone all damn night, smoking, drinking and making inappropriate comments about me and whatever other females happen to be passing by. They have also been using my plants as their own personal trash can. This simply will not do. I have tried mean stares at them through the window, saying "no" (the only common word we share) to their glares and comments, collecting their trash and returning it to them on their doorstep and sicing  my brother on them, all to no avail. It's not a language barrier - it's an asshole barrier.

 The hated symbol of their evil occupation of my personal space is The Ugly Brown Chair. The Ugly Brown Chair is a cheap metal and vinyl contraption of the type usually found at Baptist Church Pot Lucks and is migratory in nature. It will begin it's journey on the neighbor's patio, and slowly, over the course of a few days, make it's way onto mine only to be rapidly repatriated by Alex and myself only to once again, migrate somewhere tropical. I can't really blame it for wanting to hang out on my patio...it's cleaner. Sometimes we send it on "vacation" to the parking lot or the center of the courtyard surrounded by dog poo. It always makes it's way back to our patio, which it apparently now considers "home." A few days ago, Alex and I decided to make The Ugly Brown Chair disappear...only to reappear tomorrow morning with a few "changes." Call it a free makeover and a Big Fat Hint to our neighbors that the chair needs to stay the hell inside.


We may be passive-aggressive assholes, but at lest we're creative about it.

Eight years in just under two minutes. You gotta admire his dedication.

This is why the rest of the world hates us.

I should warn you. This link includes animal cruelty. It's not bloody, but it's certainly not fun to watch. Just one more act of cruel and senseless violence overseas. I certainly hope that the attitude of  these soldiers represents the minority, or else this country is in for some real trouble when they come home.

This needs to happen. If for no other reason than that the Dalai Lama is the shit.

BoingBoing tv's daily offering is an animated short about the history of war starring native foods. It's both funny and slightly nauseating and definitely worth a watch. The bonus at the end features a dog impersonating Orson Wells. Surreal.

Michael Jackson's second nose is rolling in it's grave. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the many incarnations of THRILLER.

This one claims to be a bunch of prison inmates, don't know if I believe that, but the "girl" is awesome. Apparently the same group has done the Black Eyed Peas as well

Torturing one's fellow tube passengers is also an acceptable homage to the King of Pop.

Lest we forget Jennifer Garner's contribution...distilled awkward.

Proof that Second Life has jumped the shark. (The Sims 2's offering is more cinematic, but the dancing leaves much to be desired)

My personal favorite. If you click on only one of these time wasters, make it this one. It's worth it, I promise.

And of course, where would we be without the original? Speaking of originals, I think nose #1 might have made a cameo appearance in this video on were-Michael. It's worth noting that seeing this video as a young age is pretty much responsible for my current zombie obsession.

So Tilda Swinton won the Oscar. That's my girl!!! I wold just like to say how incredibly talented she is...and link to her incredibly funny acceptance speech. Tilda, for the win!

For whatever reason I feel so much better about myself/more productive when I craft for others. I'm thinking about busting out some more of those turbans, but without the beads and stuff (or maybe even with) and start regularly donating to a radiology center. They're super quick and easy to make, and cheap too.

Anyway, I finished my swap package today, pictures behind the cut. I really wish I could keep these things, but that would defeat the whole purpose of making them. Anyway, it at least got my creative juices flowing and I have reaffirmed my belief that I have more art in me than just clothes.






I have a new friend. Apparently I knew him from G-ville/Ocala, but we re-met at karaoke at the Savoy a couple Mondays ago. His name is Josh, and he and his husband, Will are so nice. It turns out Alex knows Josh from way back when so we may have some double dates in our future. Josh has since hired me to make him a drag gown for a pageant he is entering...this thing is going to be amazing. There's a benefit show in April that he's invited me to so that I can set up a table and show my portfolio around to the drag community. Apparently there's lots of money in that. I also got introduced to his boss at Sleuth's Mystery Dinner theatre. Boss-man's wife is a costumer at Disney and he has friends in production at the Lion King. He saw my portfolio and grabbed two of my porta-folio packets (a resume, mission statement and CD with my work) and promised to circulate them.

Sea World is hiring, and so is David's Bridal. I'm going to check out both of those places tomorrow as well as the local dinner theatres. Apparently they are in need of some help. So basically I'm feeling more like myself and have jumped back into that proverbial saddle. Here's looking at you, Kid.

Yesterday I decided to take Andi's advice and transfer my anger and anxiety into creative energy. I'm involved in an Art Nouveau/Deco swap on Craftster and have yet to come up with something great for my partner. Until yesterday, that is. I decided that item 1/3 was going to be a snazzy art nouveau turban. I went down to Joanne's and got some swank stretch velvet with sparkly stripes, some beads and random findings and went to town.


Item 2/3 is an art paper collage featuring a vintage fur coat add and the Chrysler building. I'll start on that tomorrow since today is dedicated to getting stuff done.

In other news, I did not get hired by the Holy Land Experience. Yeah, I know, technically you already knew that; But what you did not know was that they called me a couple weeks ago and wanted me to come in for an interview. I went, it was awesome. They even had me shadow for a day and I learned how to quick change Jesus. Just when it seemed that things were pretty much set in stone, I called today and they decided not to hire me because of my Forestburgh obligation. Lame! What sucks is that they led me on to the point that I blew off an interview because I thought they were hiring me...learned my lesson on that one. I called the other place today and they said I can still come in, but it was a close shave. I'm considering turning my job searching energies towards stupid jobs that I don't have to tell about Forestburgh so I can just quit in May...we'll see.